I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
