He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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