I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
