Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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