He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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