You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
