did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We got so high we made milksteak
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
