Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's a naked man in my car right now.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
