when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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