i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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