dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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