Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Watching her eat just hurts me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
