He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
