too bad you live with your parents still
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
