i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize