its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
