I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
