Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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