I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
