I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
