Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
