I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
