Rock
Scissors
Fuck
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
