Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
