Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
