And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
