went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
