i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
