I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
