i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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