...so i touched it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
