I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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