Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
