So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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