I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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