fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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