oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
