We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
