I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
