Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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