drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
