i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My pussy is not your playground.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
