Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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