how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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