If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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