its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
