How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
