You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
