didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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