call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
