I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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