I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
